Couples Therapy

I recently asked someone how would you describe couples therapy? Their response was “A couple who are at the end of their rope and relationship falling apart and need someone to fix it”. An honest response but the wrong answer. Although it’s an answer I’ve seen many have, which has prevented many from seeking and receiving the help they need to strengthen a relationship or as someone else put it “go to the gym for the mind” (if it wasn’t for confidentiality, I would totally credit this individual as I love this!). What would it look like if there was no longer an expectation to wait until “things go wrong” before you seek out help, but instead sought help proactively, to avoid “things going wrong"?

I’ve also noticed there can be other misconceptions as to what couples therapy is…Couples therapy is two people looking for support to strengthen, heal, restore, etc their relationship. This could be two people in a romantic relationship or it could be a parent and child or two business partners or two friends. Two people wanting to build a healthy and strong relationship with the support of someone who is external to the relationship but is all about walking with individuals and couples for as long as they need.

So now that we’ve clarified some misconceptions, how can we at Jireh Wellbeing help? Maybe you have an immediate response or maybe you have no idea and just know you’re needing help. Whatever the answer, we’re here to help, although I understand asking for help can be difficult. As Therapists, we’re not here to fix, judge or even pick sides. We are here to provide a safe and non-judgemental space, walking with you through the support you’re needing, in the hopes you are empowered to heal and strengthen you and your relationship.

A lot of feedback we receive from couples is that they find it helpful to have a neutral space where they intentionally work through things without the distractions of life, home, etc. Another common comment we get is that the therapy sessions become a place where couples learn to listen to understand and instead of listening to react or respond. We all know in an argument, it can be much easier to react but there are tools and techniques to avoid reactions and bring understanding and more depth to the relationship.

To end this blog, I want to share an excerpt I wrote in a blog on Couples Therapy elsewhere a while ago and as I was reflecting on this, I thought it may be helpful to share starting with one of my favourite quotes:

“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you”

This quote can sum up how couples therapy can help you. When you come to couples therapy and ask for help, it will be given to you. In the first session, you would unpack what brought you to couples therapy, which helps the Therapist identify what would be most helpful and effective for you moving forward. This can look like moving forward with couples therapy or if it does not sound like the right time for couples therapy, the Therapist will connect you with a more appropriate service, depending on what you decide. Whatever the outcome, when you ask for help, you will be given it but it is up to you whether you take it and make the most of it. What you put into therapy is what you will get out of it.

In couples therapy, when you seek understanding and awareness, you will find it. Exploring the subconscious or unconscious can be challenging, uncomfortable and even painful but in couples therapy you will be held as you seek this understanding and awareness. The Therapist will facilitate the space so it is safe for you to explore.

Lastly, when you knock on the door in couples therapy, it will be opened to you in two ways. The door will be opened for you to a space where you will not be judged and the Therapist will be there ready to see and hear you. The other way is doors will open as you walk through the process, as you start to create, rebuild, redesign the relationship you are wanting. You will gain a deeper understanding of what is affecting your relationship and what you want to open and close the door to.

Couples therapy will empower you to ask, seek and knock and whatever you put into it is what you get out of it.

If any of this resonates with you, can I encourage you to get in touch to arrange a first session? We’re here for you to come as you are, for whenever you need.